To unlock or not

Unlocking parts of our self can be scary.

Sometimes I wonder if it's even necessary.

I know someone that protects herself very carefully.  She's been hurt by many:(

Her story could have been a sad story but she took what was given to her

and turned it around. She reminds me of me sometimes.

She also has extremely large chunks of memory blocked from her.

She has tried to remember.

She tried to take a memory she did have and focus on it...follow it until

it fades hoping that each time she will remember more. 

She did that for awhile until she noticed her eye starting to twitch bad.

She didn't put two and two together for a while but after about 3 months of twitching 

she decided that there was a reason her brain 

and maybe heart is unable to process and has

blocked out her past.  After that she tried hard to stop remembering 

and the twitching stopped.

She talks to me about smells and sounds but no memory.

She talks to me about stillness.

I understand.

She told me awhile back that someone from her past was telling her 

about an incident that happened years ago when she was just 9 or 10 and 

She started to remember as

the story was being told...she almost wanted the storyteller to stop...

you would not have know from looking at her because she 

keeps a pretty good face on but her heart was beating

what she said felt like 100 miles a minute...

It was almost like she could hear the key to a very rusty lock trying to unlock 

and she was peeking inside.

She really doesn't want to look in there. 

You know when you don't like scary movies so you cover  

your eyes during the commercials but sometimes peek through your fingers.

I'll have to say.  I think I have been blessed by God to live this life I have!

My friend....Yes her too.  We both have been blessed by God! 

Happily Married and living for God! 

I'm serving a VICTORIOUS GOD!

 I have my triggers.

There are things that set me back and make me stop.

It's ok though.

I breathe and bring my focus back to what is real and right.

GOD and FAMILY!

It's what I live for:)

The rest...any silliness that comes in my way has to be put to the side...

Some people can't handle that.

But they don't live in my brain or my heart.

Memory...it's a funny thing.  

Some forget...and some well...some twist it to...make it fit

That can get frustrating...I just try to ignore.

Mistakes...As parents, we're gonna mess up...it's because 

we're not Jesus...we're merely a sinful human.

BUT

That is NOT your excuse to continue to do 

the same thing over and over again.  

It's our goal to not mess up on the big things and be humble when we do

mess up and say we're sorry. 

Our job is to LEARN how to do our job as a parent.

We have 18 years of "in house" training.

Then, as parents, we have to sit back and take it. 

What do I mean?

I mean that if we made...less then great choices during our "in house training"

years and especially if they were big mess ups and especially

if they were ones that continued...

Well, parents, your child back then did not have a well spoken voice then...

a voice that knew better...

and now that it has been in this world 

and found it's own life and remembers it's old life...

this child that might have had a less desirable past is going to be

upset...hurt...and might even speak out. 

It is now the child's time to voice his or her true opinion

.

On the flip side, if "in house training" years were full and sweet with few ripples

because they all have ripples:) then this parent will reap this

blessing of fullness.

It is a promise from God!

SO, PARENTS...PUT IN THE WORK NOW!

IT IS YOUR JOB TO TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN< 

LOVE, BE FAITHFUL TO, and STAY YOUR HUSBAND AND OR WIFE<

SERVE GOD<

READ THE BIBLE AND JUST DO WHAT IT SAYS! 

Hopefully your kids will remember all the wonderful family times you

have together.  

I know I try hard to make many stops along the way to 

"stop and capture" the moment.  

18 years goes faster then we know it.  My baby girl is already 16 and

my second one is quickly approaching.

My advantage is that I've been able to stay home and also I've 

Home schooled.

If I sent them to Public school I would have still stayed home

because I want to "be" available to them.

I remember one time when I was a new mom when one of my old 

high school buddies said how she could not handle being with her kids all day long.

WOW!

I found that sad.  As I can see that it is difficult at times...

I wouldn't change it for anything:)

POWER TO THE STAY AT HOME MOMMAS!

Many families can't have a stay at home mom but many can and think they can't.

It's a matter of priority.

 I can attest to that.  We live very lean our first few years of marriage.

Unwind:

Unwind in knowing today that if you are still in those "in house training" 

years you still have time to work on things.  

If not, you must wait if you are dealing with a child or more that 

is upset and has found a voice.  This child has every right to be 

upset because what ever happened...what ever choices where made...

made a change in this child's life 

and now this adult child has a voice to express his or herself.  

You can not go back and change the past.  

You can only vow not to continue to make the same mistakes for yourself.  

For some, these mistakes may have cost them a forever separation...

For others only time is needed for healing.  

But only time can really tell...and a humble heart.

If you are reaping the blessing of the "flip side" then I don't have to tell

you how wonderful it feels. You already know!

Whoever you are...Put God in the mix.