A Pain In My Head

**Topamax/ Topiramate is also used to prevent migraine headaches but not to relieve the pain of migraine headaches when they occur. Topiramate is in a class of medications called anticonvulsants. It works by decreasing abnormal excitement in the brain.

I have this pill I take.
I fought taking it for years.
The pain overpowered the will and I surrendered.
It was not just the pain.
It was the pain and living life and teaching my kids.
I could not do either effectively under such constant pain.
Fear of a growth in my brain first took me to the doctor.
Once all the test clear me from that...the doc sat me down
He told me that I would be surprised to live a life
without headaches or migraines.
He told me that maybe, just maybe I should just try.
So, I did.
As much As I don't like taking meds.....I said I'd give it a whirl.
After 1 month, I only had a head ache a week.
I was having 3 to 4 migraines a week with headaches
on the other days usually.
Now I have a headache or possibly a migraine a month
maybe every 2 or 3 months...
PRAISE GOD!
WIth everything there is a side effect....right?
Well, the meds I take literally are ding bat pills!
Some people can not take them because that side effect.
They just can't take it.
It is frustrating sometimes.  Sometimes I'm sharp and
sometimes...my sharpness, well let's just say is there but shows up later.
It's weird.
Like last night...I was writing a request to a man and was spelling possibility.
Easy enough right? SUPER EASY WORD p-o-s-s-i-b-i-l-i-t-y.
For the life of me I was confusing my i's and l after the b...and once I did spell it right...
it didn't look right:\ I think my eyes were blending all those lines 'ililt' together.
I don't know.  I just know I KNOW how to spell possibility :)
So, sometimes...a lot of times here on this blog you will read a do where a does needs to be....
a who where a whom needs to be.
It bugs me because I proof read my kids stuff and correct there's (ha that was on purpose!)
The grammar and spelling mistakes bug me....I look for them but my goal is not to be
perfect...it's to get stuff blogged out there.
I found that if I worried about all the mistakes or whatever...I'd never "post".
So, I just post away. and know that there are mistakes.

So...I ask for grace.
My kids sometimes find it funny and so we joke and have fun.
Yes I know there is something called spell check but I know I have it in that brain of mine
so I make it work.  Then, I will double check to make sure it was right:)

In, July I thought I had beaten the migraines.
So, instead of going back to the doctor for a follow up
I just stopped the meds gradually on my own.
Guess what?
Gradually, on their own the headaches returned.
Big bangers! Until my family finally said, "GO TO THE DOCTOR!"
With my tail between my legs I went back.
I had not kicked the headaches. It was the meds.

UNWIND:
MY unwind today is realizing that sometimes even if it has harsh side
effects it (meds/ or whatever) just might be better than the current problem.
AND Sometimes...you might not realize...but you could be talking to a
real genius and not even know it...give people grace because they might
not have any other choice like me:\
Even though, hehe, I'm not a genius...I'm no ding bat either:)